Drunk... once again

And this is the moment when you think... ah frank... who the hell could have imagined. It's some sort of a moral... "be careful what you wish because you just might get it". And you may not want it. Or you way want it but just not for the time being. Just... later on. You have the perfect guy for you... he loves you and treats you the way you have always imagined... and you are just numb and cannot react.
I feel awkward right now. It's as if everyone's clocks have started ticking... except for mine. Mine is blocked. Lacks batteries. I have the most wonderful thing but it's just not for me. I may have wanted all of this but the script was totally different, and so were the main actors. The lead role belonged to someone else and now it seems just like a bad cover. I dk. I don't want anything... but I am pulled into choosing. And I am pissed, and I am tired ... and I would liked things to have been a little simpler. And I would have pretty much enjoyed something else now, something like an ice cream, some sleep or a pina colada.
Ah frank. Another freakin' day... I'm stuck here and have no window to escape. I wish I had things figured out just once.