Screw it

I don't know what's going on but I just don't feel like doing anything for anyone anymore... maybe just not right now. Maybe I would only need some sleep, because it's late and I feel so tired. There have been like... 3 or 4 weeks since I hadn't got a good sleep, and I feel powerless everyday. Trying to make people happy, concentrating on so many problems... is just so exhausting, and it pisses me off. I wanna be a good person, but sometimes I feel like just wanting not to give a hack about anything, because everything eats my energy.
I wish I had my time back, my memories and my good night's sleep, but those days are certainly gone and I can't get them back no matter how hard I try. I'm loosing way. But I am not lost. Don't get me wrong... there's nothing wrong with me... it's just a passage through time.
I miss my people, my silence, my deafening silence. I just can't find myself here, can't define my existence and I strongly believe that I don't belong here. Don't know where my place is but I need to escape. Can't u see? Everything is about me. All the time. Ya... maybe it's because of the period. Maybe of my stupidity, maybe I don't know whom to put the blame on... but the hell. I'm sick. I'm a sick bastard who doesn't give a fuck about school but still is there all the time and has good marks and is considered nerdy because she doesn't like nights out in clubs, doesn't smoke and doesn't wear anything outrageous. Dude! We all need a new life. They make me hate the system so badly. They - the ones who f*ck with my brain and make me impossible. Now I'm upset because I know that no matter what I would say there will always be someone to accuse me for something and to pee on my work. GO ON... pee... I don't mind... I have more where that came from, but u know what? F u dude! Nobody gives a damn if u are tired, or if you have the flu or if you have been eating a dead mouse, all they want is to be ass-kisser. But I am not. And never will be. So good night!